So, we grew up. We got more in touch with our personality, our strengths, our weaknesses, our likes, our dislikes, our fears, our desires... We also got more in touch with our inner insecurity.
When I was younger, I was bold, strong-headed, a freedom-fighter. With the conditioning of 'the real world', mistakes, parental advice, I, like many of us, became much more cautious. The cautiousness both protects and hinders. I no longer fearlessly, spontaneously put myself forward. Self confidence derived from becoming comfortable with myself, dancing, and having a group of supportive friends is sometimes not enough to override that inner insecurity, that doubt - that what if, what if something goes wrong; what if, it isn't as good as I want it to be.
When we were kids, we had that little cockiness and 'pride' because we had not known what was out there. Then we grew up, we have found out we are hardly a grain in this universe, and we have seen for ourselves things that are grander than we could ever imagine, people that are more intelligent that we could ever be. Yet, there is this blind pride that never goes away. That stubborn little thing that both keeps our chin up and tangles our foot. I see it as a self-defence mechanism to our private insecurity, known only to ourselves. Perhaps, it is exactly this unlikely paradox between pride and insecurity that keeps us afloat in this mad world, to stay centre and balanced, and to keep the quest for truth and sense going.